Big Love.

It may be the understatement of the century to say that this has been a very interesting year. I have no doubt ‘interesting’ can and will be replaced by several rather unsavory adjectives when you read that sentence. And yet, today as I took the little stroll from my car to my house– a habitual muscle-memory stroll I do every day– something new sparked inside me. A tiny recognition. A subtle remembrance. The most minuscule of awakenings. I felt my heartbeat. I felt how it continues to beat for me, pumping life-force through me. I felt immense gratitude. For my heart, my body, my self, the earth, and all living things. I said it was ‘tiny,’ but right now that feels pretty f-ing huge.  

I was gifted with a moment of awareness. Of the things that exist within us and around us that lift our souls into divinity. The bigger picture.

Oh Laura, you’re such a ridiculously adorable optimist (emphasis on ridiculous). I hear you. And I’ll be the first to note that these moments of big picture awareness are not where I spend the majority of my time. There’s a lot of less-than-conscious moments doled out in frustrated sighs, passive aggressive dishwashing, and neat-freak baby-wiping. Trust me. I am a far cry from sainthood.

But. I will say, these days I do find myself getting more and more into this lovelight head-space (and heart-space). Even with the rising shift in fear and insecurity. Even more so because of this very fact. Because I see that when there is great hurt, there is also a need for great love. The kind of love that doesn’t ask why, or expect to be paid back. The kind of love that cannot be contained, cajoled, confined, or threatened. The kind of love that sees where it is headed and who it has to meet and what it has to do, and goes anyway. Open. Full. Unwavering. Encompassing everything. All of it. All the hurt, all the pain, all the joy, all the everything we can bring to it.  Like a… ninja/pac-man/buddha/jesus/puppy/dragon/inter-galatic nebula kind of love.

I may be the only one who gets that particular comparison. But, I think I’m okay with that.

Wait, actually, I have a better illustration. (I know. How is that possible?)

There’s a short film by the genius Pixar people called “Sanjay’s Super Team.” It has become one of my son’s favorites. (quick side note: when he was born we vowed to keep him away from the evil screens, however, we have since rescinded our vow, because… parenting. Everything in moderation. No judgement.) Sanjay is a little boy who wants to watch his superheroes on TV. Sanjay’s dad wants to meditate near his shrine of Hindu gods and goddesses. Neither understands the interest in the other’s form of worship. The dad makes Sanjay sit and meditate with him, and he abides reluctantly. What ensues is an epic battle (all in the little boy’s imagination) between a super bad guy and the Hindu deities. In the end, Sanjay realizes his own personal power, the importance of the teachings of these deities, as well as a whole new respect for his father. A beautiful story. But what I really wanted to get to is the final blow in this epic battle that finally defeats the super bad dude. It’s from Sanjay. He strikes his bell and makes the sacred sound of Om, the seed of all creation– Divine Love, Truth, Supreme Spirit, and Divine Knowledge. The sound waves that emanate from the bell wrap around the bad dude and… here’s the important part… they don’t crush him, they wake him up. They wake him up. To the remembrance of who he is at soul level. To the remembrance of who he is underneath the layers of fear, hatred, pain, hurt, and self-doubt. His face relaxes, his body calms, he exhales as he brings his hands together in prayer at his heart center. There is peace.

Holy frijoles.

I mean, really y’all. It’s a kid’s film. And I’m sobbing into my cheerios yet again.

Okay. We good? That’s the kind of love I’m talking about. 

I’m not asking you to live there in every moment, but I will invite you to live there for one breath. One breath today. Perhaps one breath tomorrow. Two breaths on Sunday. You get the idea.

My hope is that if enough of us start this practice, it’ll be like the 100th monkey theory. All of the sudden, everywhere around the world, we all start to remember who we are and wake up to the divine love within.

Stranger things have happened.