The thing about the name of this blog is that it catches me when I’m trying to whimp out and play small. Especially that whole “Muse” part. The “Sacred” and “Sexy” parts are equally compelling and drive me to remember my divine nature and get my swag on respectively. But that “Muse” part is the part that’s got me goin’, especially on a day like today when I’m going to debut my face on the youtube. Yeah… that’s right. It’s time to step in front of the camera and get real…. ly goofy.
Ohhhh lordy. This is a tough one for me. I’m not a loud person. But I have a lot of loud ideas, and this Muse in me keeps digging her spurs into my side saying “Get out there woman! Let your true self shine!”
Well… let me tell you. My true self is pretty darn goofy. I mean epically goofalicious. As you soon shall see.
Let’s talk about beginnings. And finding the beauty in the vulnerable places.
All beginnings are hard. You don’t know what you’re doing and it’s uncomfortable and weird and you feel embarrassed because you’re not as good as those other people who’ve been doing it for a lot longer than you. It’s messy and uncomfortable– yes, BUT, it’s also wildly entertaining. I mean, it can be, if you own it. If you just decide that yep, this is me– naked, afraid, totally dorky and laughably ridiculous– and heck, look how adorable I am! I am one sexy courageous funny-faced unicorn!
It’s fascinating how desperate we are to hide that side of us. We’re so scared to reveal imperfection and “weakness”, and yet we have such a desire to be different and original. We just want to skip the learning curve and go straight to the pinnacle of mastery.
Sadly, that’s impossible. And in fact, that beginning stuff is what molds us into the artful master that we eventually become. We’re ALL beginners at something. We ALL mess up. Why do we feel the need to lie about it or hide it away? Why is there shame in admitting you aren’t amazing at something you just started 5 minutes ago?
Why can’t we just own up to where we are? Honor the struggle and bring others along with us on our journey. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of Wholeness. It’s a sign of radically accepting every part of you that is constantly changing and always learning.
There comes a time in most everyone’s life when the inner pull to create is stronger than the fear and shame of being a beginner. (tweet it) When you’re standing on the edge of that cliff, scared shitless of taking the plunge into everything you’ve ever wanted, you need to borrow the wise words of many brazen adventurers who’ve come before you…
Honestly, that’s where it is. Let’s DO this. Dare to be great. And know that there’s always a good chance you will screw it up. It’s okay. Because that’s how creation works. Failure is inherent. And no one likes to fail. It hurts. But, “the sharp pains of self discovery” are going to be much more righteous wounds than “the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” (Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love)
I've been wanting to do video for a while now, and last weekend while James was away I decided to do a little camera testing and just see what happened. Well... my darling and brilliant husband came back home, saw the footage, and immediately said, "Y'know what you have to do now..." And I said, "Oh no, please no, ... Really?" And he said, "Yeah. You need to edit these together and put it out there." And there you have it. A star is born.
So, without further ado– Here I am, unrestrained and goofy as hell. I’ve encountered the Muse and the Muse is me. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it drives you to take a chance on your dreams, begin something, and laugh bigger than you thought you ever could.